Grand Day Out - A Musical - (Primo Tempo)

Act 1 scene 1 – The Meeting

Shell: Right. Everyone here? Did you all get the memo ok? You know, the one I sent via Private Message on the forum?

Edna: I’m here Boss. Who’s the target?

Gabrielle: I got it Shell and of course you are right. I simply cannot believe she said that?! I never did trust her mind. Edited 3 times by Gabrielle

Shell: There’s no target Edna. At ease. I called this meeting on a Tuesday so this is the well known secret mod room today not the well known secret war room. We only have war meetings on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays. You know that. This is something different altogether! And no Gabs, not that…ah….PM. The other one. Best not to…ah…mention the PM you’re thinking of, kay?

Gabrielle: Oops sorry. Kay xx Edited 1 time by Gabrielle

Katta: Ja! I am also here!

Trini: WAR? SOMEONE MENTION WAR?

Edna: No target? Something different eh? C’mon…you’re having me on. There’s always a target. Whatcha got? Hmmm? I know! It’s a phone number right? You got someone’s phone number and we’re gonna use it to threaten and intimidate the shit out of someone?! You’re a genius Shell. An absolute genius. How do you do it? How do you find these things out?

Shell: It’s not a phone number either Edna. Just listen, ok? Now, anyone seen Barry?

Trini: WAR? WAR? WHAT DO YOU LOT ALL KNOW ABOUT WAR EH? I USED TO BE A SOLDIER YOU KNOW! FRONT LINES! PEARL HARBOUR.! VIETNAM! IRAQ! BEEN TO ‘EM ALL Y’KNOW!

Katta: I can sniff him out boss! I have nose better than blooddog. You got anything of his I can smell? It’ll be piece of pie!

Jobless: I’m sure you could probably find some of his bullshit to smell on one of the threads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trini: ADOLF HITLER! I REMEMBER HAVING THAT BASTARD SLAP BANG RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SIGHTS! IF ONLY THE BASTARD HADN’T BENT DOWN TO TIE HIS SHOELACES! COULDA BEEN WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY ALTOGETHER!

Edna: Not a phone number eh? Okaaaay. Gotta be an address then. But who? Hmmm…..can’t be Stoo. We already got that one. S’not El, we know where that fucker works too. Earthsangel? Naaah. Whats the point? Even I can’t be fucked travelling all the way to South Africa to bother her….

Katta: (sniff…sniff….)

Shell: Look! It’s not an address either! Will you just listen for a moment?!

Trini: COURSE…SEEING BLOODSHED ON A SCALE LIKE I HAVE CAN CHANGE A MAN. CAN CHANGE HIM FOR GOOD…

Gabrielle: I really feel I ought to express my support here Shell. I’m listening. Have you posted something you need blind unwavering justification for? Just point me in the right direction… Edited 4 times by Gabrielle

Katta: Eh?! (sniff…sniff….) EH?! (sniff….sniff)! Ja! I have something!

Edna: Well that just leaves a picture of someone then. Not much ammo to go on Shell if I’m honest. Bit disappointed to tell the truth.

Jobless: A picture is worth a thousand words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gabrille: What is it Katta? Edited 2 times by Gabrielle

Trini: WON’T LIE TO YOU ALL. IT’S AFFECTED ME. SLEEPLESS NIGHTS I HAVE. NIGHTMARES TOO. POST TRAUMATIC STRESS THE DOC CALLS IT….I’LL NEVER BE THE SAME!

Katta: Barry! I find him! Ja! Here! In the closet!

Shell: Ok! Who locked Barry in the closet?! Was it you again JO? I’ve told you about that! Somebody unlock it and tell Barry he can come out now. And no Edna! It isn’t a picture either!!

Trini: I COULD BE WALKING ALONG THE STREET WHEN SUDDENLY…BAM! FLASHBACK! SUDDENLY I’M GALLOPING ON HORSEBACK ALONGSIDE GENERAL CUSTER CHARGING TOWARD A HORDE OF ANGRY RED INDIANS AGAIN! THAT’S WHAT POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DOES! HITS YOU JUST LIKE THAT! LUCKY I GOT ME PILLS. NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT ME PILLS!

Jobless: Are they the Holstein variety?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Barry: OUT AT LAST!

Edna: Wouldn’t go that far just yet Bazza….

Shell: Ok! Finally! We’re all here? Yes? Good! Now all of you shut up and LET ME MAKE MY FUCKING ANNOUNCEMENT! THIS IS MY FUCKING FORUM AND IT’S MY TURN TO FUCKING SPEAK!! …Kay? xx

Gabrielle: All ears Shell Edited 14 times by Gabrielle

Shell: Ok. Well…what I wanted to announce was…it’s the forum’s anniversary coming up so I’ve planned…..AN ALL EXPENSES GRAND DAY OUT TO BRIGHTON! FOR ALL OF US! ISN’T THAT WONDERFUL?

Trini: NOW DON’T GET ME WRONG. I NEVER LOOK FOR SYMPATHY. THAT’S JUST NOT ME. LIFE AIN’T SO BAD. I MANAGE TO PASS EACH LONG TORTURED MEMORY FILLED DAY SOMEHOW…

Edna: All expenses paid?!

Shell: Yes! Absolutely! All expenses paid! All each of you have to do is contribute £50 each to the new expenses donation account I set up! Aren’t I wonderful?!

Trini: IM JUST TRYING TO LIVE DAY BY DAY, YOU KNOW?

Katta: Brighton! Wonderful! Ja! I am always want to visit Brighton! Where is Brighton?

Barry: Brighton?! Isn’t that where all the….you know. Them. Where all the “they” hang out? I’ve heard about some of the nightclubs in Brighton. Never dreamed I might actually see one of them. Wow.

Gabrielle: On the south coast of England, Katta! You’ll love it! Lots of space for me to let you off your leash for you to have a good run around! Edited 5 times by Gabrielle

Edna: How we getting there?

Barry: I’m going to need some time to prepare. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this...

Shell: Double decker bus Edna!. Just like in the movie with Cliff Richard!

Jobless: So this means…we’re all going on a TROLLING holiday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trini: A’COURSE IT’S GOT EASIER NOW I GOT ME HORSES. DUNNO WHAT I’D DO IF IT WASN’T FOR ME HORSES….

Fade to black



Act 1 Scene 2 – A monologue in song.

The room is now empty apart from Barry. The lights are dimmed and he is
sweeping the floor. Looking thoughtful, Barry begins to burst into a slow
song in high falsetto.

Barry: I never thought the dream would come,
The dream I’ve dreamed for years,
Silverbells and daffodils,
My chance to face my fears,
Oh how I yearn,
Oh how I ache,
Oh how I tremble and shiver,
To feel the touch,
To feel the love,
That only a man can deliver.

Can this be really happening to me,
Or is this just a false hope?
Silverbells and daffodils,
Should I risk having my heart broke?
Can there really be,
A man to love me?
I ask myself time and again,
To kiss and caress me,
To fondle and hold me,
Maybe I’m just being insane.

Maybe it’s best to lay it to rest,
To simply just forget?
Silverbells and daffodils,
Maybe I’ll hide back in the closet,
Forget about love,
And breakfasts in bed,
Forget what I looked up on the net,
Those oiled up men,
Glistening and wet,
Are something I simply can’t get.

But I can’t give up! I can’t lose hope!,
For who knows what the future may bring?
Silverbells and daffodils,
Maybe I’ll find a man for my ring,
So no more procrastinating!
And only a little less masturbating!
My decision is now final and done!
I’m going to see,
If a man will bugger me,
Down in sunny Brighton!


Fade to black

Act 1 scene 3 - Treachery

Come up on Edna and Jobless

Edna: Hey JO. Seems it’s just the two of us, eh?

Jobless: Two is always better than one!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edna: Indeed. Indeed it is. I’m ah..glad we’re all alone to be honest Jobless. Been…ah….been meaning to get you on your own for a little while in fact.

Jobless: Please be gentle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edna: Be gentle eh? Hah! S’funny. Real funny. Course, that’s not to say you aren’t a good lookin’ fella. Bet you have to beat the ladies off with a stick, eh?

Jobless: Only the ugly ones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edna: Ok. Look. You can stop with the one liners. And the exclamation marks too while we’re at it. Bit tiresome to be honest. I’m just…ah…just trying to have a proper conversation with you here. Ok?

Jobless: Stop with the….? And the…? Reeeeeally?

Edna: Just for a moment? Ok?

Jobless: Well. I must say this is highly irregular. Nobody has ever asked me to do anything like that before. It’s kind of like my MO. King of the hilarious one liners. That’s me. Everyone knows me for my one liners...

Edna: I’m sure they do know you, Jobless, but it’s not for coming out with funny one liners. Not by a long shot.


Jobless: I suppose I could give it a whirl. Just don’t tell anybody, ok?

Edna: Ok.

Jobless: Well. This feels very liberating. I suppose I should ask what you want to talk to me about?

Edna: We’ll come to that. We’ll come to that, don’t worry. So…you…ah….you got any young ladyfriends?

Jobless: Ladyfriends? You mean, like, girlfriends? N-…ah…yes. Yes of course. She, er, she lives in New Zealand. Don’t get to see her much but she’s crazy about me. Honest.

Edna: Lucky girl. Lucky girl indeed. So, you…ah….you looking forward to this grand day out?

Jobless: Yeh. Should be fun.

Edna: Lemme ask you something, JO. You ah….you ever thought about the future? Y’know, about EoE. You…ah….ever thought about where you’ll be in five years?

Jobless: Not really if I’m totally honest, Edna. I usually don’t think beyond the date of my next benefit cheque.

Edna: You ever thought what might happen to EoE if Shell wasn’t around? You…ah…ever thought about that, JO?

Jobless: No Shell?! Absolutely not! I can’t imagine a forum without Shell lurking somewhere on it. Besides, where would she go?

Edna: People….sometimes….they can have….accidents.

Jobless: Accidents?

Edna: Yeh. You know. Totally random tragic shit that might happen to someone. Like having their tea spiked with detergent. That kind of thing. I hear Shell drinks a lot of tea…

Jobless: Tea?

Edna: Grand Days Out. Wonderful things are Grand Days Out. Course what they don’t tell you about Grand Days Out is how fraught with terrible danger they are. Anything could happen to someone on a Grand Day Out. Anything at all…

Jobless: Especially to someone like…

Edna: Ah! Now we’re on the same page, eh? Course if Shell were to meet with some unfortunate unexpected demise, such as tripping over and falling headlong 20 feet into the lion enclosure at the zoo for example, well, then, I guess someone would have to take the reins of EoE, wouldn’t they Jobless?

Jobless: Yes. Yes I suppose they would.

Edna: And behind every great man is a woman, or so I’ve heard.

Jobless: And would this…ah….woman, happen to have a Matron’s uniform she could wear?

Edna: Complete with Matron's hat Jobless. Complete with Matron's hat.

Fade to black


Act I Scene 4 - I am beautiful
Come up on Katta, Gabby and Shell


Gabby: It's a splendid idea, Shell. Simply splendid. You really are too good to us. Edited 2 times by Gabrielle

Katta: Ja! What Gabrielle says!

Shell: Oh well, Gabby, you know it's lovely of you to say but I don't do these things for self gratification you know. I only want to make you all happy.

Gabby: Well it was very thoughtful Shell. Edited 98 times by Gabrielle

Shell: And? I mean..go on...

Katta: Ja?

Gabby Well, and..and kind. Edited 6 times by Gabrielle

Katta: Ja!

Shell: Thoughtful and kind. Thank you. I don't look for thanks though, you know that. What else was it?

Katta: Gabby?

Gabby: Erm..it was..well...yes! It was...it was...Edited 9675 times by Gabrielle

Katta: Pleasing of punch!

Gabby Oooh...good one, Katta. That almost works. Edited 2 times by Gabrielle

Shell: It's just that...those...those Dogs. Sometimes they really get to me. They play havoc with my MS you know. Really set it off. Sometimes I can't even use my fingers to type and I need to use a little headband with a stick on it to tap out the letters. Do you know how difficult it is to write Fuck you Stooo with one of those? That's why sometimes I spell it with too many letter O's. I get a nervous tic in my neck you see from the strain and it spasms when I'm stressed.

Gabby: You shouldn't take any notice of them Shell. We know you're a wonderful person deep deep...erm...deep inside. Edited 4 times by Gabrielle.

Katta: Ja!

Shell: I'm not an evil person you know. Honestly.

Katta: Ja!

Gabby: Of course you aren't Shell. You're just..erm..misundestood. Edited 2 times by Gabrielle

Music starts (Christina Aguilera - I am beautiful- Acoustic)

Shell: I'm not sure about being misunderstood, Gabs. Nobody has ever complained they can't understand what I'm saying? It's just that..you know...sometimes...

Every day is so wonderful
As suddenly,
I switch on my PC.
Now and then,
I get insecure,
From all the lies,
Confusin' my mind.

But I am beautiful no matter what Dogs say,
Their threads can't bring me down.
I am beautiful,
In a tampered picture kinda way,
Yes! Dogs can't bring me down
No no,
So don't you bring me down..
today.

To all my friends,
I'm a nasty bitch.
I keep a dossier,
In case they ever stray.
Workin' hard to backstab everyone,
Posting filth and bile,
On exile of exiles.

But I am beautiful no matter what Dogs say,
Their threads can't bring me down.
Oh no
I am beautiful,
In a delusional kinda way,
Nothing's gonna bring me down,
'Cause I never read that place..
anyway.

No matter what you do

Others: (no matter what you do)

Shell: No matter what you say

Others: (no matter what you say)

Shell: I'm evil through and through

Others: (She's evil through and through)

Shell: Im a "see you next Tuesday"

Others: (She's a see you next Tuesday)

Shell: And everywhere you go

Others: (everywhere you go)

Shell: I'll be close behind

Others: (Close behind)

Shell: I'll be there also,

Others: (There also)

Shell: Till I destroy your mind

Others: (Till she destroys your mind)

Shell: And I am beautiful no matter what Dogs say
Yes, threads won't bring me down,
Oh no
I am beautiful,
In a fecal matter kinda way
Yes, threads can't bring me down
But I wish Stooo would delete that fucking thread...
today

Others: (Yeah delete that fucking thread)

Shell: Oooh, delete the fucking thread)

Others: (Yeah delete the fucking thread...)

Fade to black


Act II Scene 1 -

Come up on interior of a bus. The hive are all seated inside.

Edna: Of all the people Shell. Of all the bloody people…

Shell: Look, Edna, I told you. It’ll be fine. And keep your voice down. We don’t want him hearing.

Edna: But why Shell? Why….why HIM?

Gabby: Allow me to interject. One does, recall, Shell stating, ours to be an open forum, and, as such, any outings should be as open as ones forum is. You have my full support Shell. Edited 3 times by Gabrielle

Shell: Thank you Gabby. I can always count on you.

Katta: And thank you to One for recalling it! Pssst! Gabby…who is this One peeps you are talking about all the time?

Jobless: Are we there yet?????????????????????

Trini: NOW THE IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER ABOUT HORSES IS...

Edna: Does he even know the way?

Gabby: One Katta. As in oneself. Edited 256 times by Gabrielle.

Barry: He'd bloody better Edna. I'm not sure I could mentally prepare myself for this all over again.

Shell: Shhh! Edna, please! He can hear you. I had to let him come.

Katta: Oneself? Is he a peeps from Sol?

Trini: ...A HORSE IS JUST LIKE A HUMAN BEIN' Y'SEE. A HORSE HAS EMOTIONS TOO...

Driver: You're talking about me aren't you? It's ok you know. I told you. I'm a reformed character. And I really mean it this time too.

Edna: Had to let him come?! Sometimes I think you take your amnesty nonsense far too seriously Shell and you forget why we exist. Amnesty has a horrible tendancy to sometimes be misinterpreted as a gesture of peace. And we don't do peace Shell.

Gabby: Edited 5 times by Gabrielle

Gabby: Edited 3 times by Gabrielle

Shell: Oh look what you're doing, Edna! You're upsetting Gabby now! You know she hates it when we fight. Now I know what you're saying, Edders, but we have to keep up the pretence. And Gabby works very hard to find interesting articles to copy and paste, don't you sweet? xx

Trini: ...IT'S NOT UNUSUAL FOR A HORSE TO, SAY, FALL IN LOVE F'EXAMPLE...

Gabby: Edited 7 times by Gabrielle

Edna: What the hell is she doing?

Katta: Ja! GABBY! Snap into it!

Shell: She's editing posts before she's made them again Edna! She goes back and fills in the blanks later!

Barry: That's snap OUT of it Katta,,,

Katta: Ja Barry! That too!

Jobless: Can I give her a slap???????????????

Driver: What's going on back there?

Trini: STRANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED AT SEA Y'KNOW, OR SO THEY SAY. I ONCE HEARD OF A YOUNG SAILOR ELOPING WITH A PORPOISE...

Gabby: Edited 790,456 times by Gabrielle

Edna: You just concentrate on the bloody road, you! Hey, what's that you're holding?

Shell: Gabby!! Wake up!!

Trini: ...SO I DUNNO WHY THE PRIEST WAS REALLY SO SHOCKED WHEN I ASKED HIM TO MARRY RED AND ME. AFTER ALL, S'GOT TO BE BETTER THAN LIVING IN SIN...

Driver: It's ok! Don't worry! You're allowed a pint!

Trini: ...AND BESIDES, LIKE I TOLD THE PRIEST, WHEN THE GOOD LORD SAYETH THOU SHALT NOT COVET THINE NEIGHBOURS OXEN HE DIDN'T MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT NOT COVETING THINE OWN...

Edna: Yes, but you're not allowed to have the fucking pint whilst you're fucking driving!!!!

Gabrielle: Edited 567,432,567,987,654,32,56,214 times by Gabrielle

Trini: ..OK GRANTED IN MY CASE THE OXEN IS ACTUALLY A HORSE BUT I'T'S THE SAME PRINCIPLE I RECKON. AND SOMETIMES WE COVET TWO OR THREE TIMES A NIGHT...

Shell: Shine! Look out! LOOK OUT!

There is the sound of a crash. Fade to black


Scene 2

Come up on interior of bus. Everyone is sprawled about and moaning

Trini: HOT DAMN! I'M TOO SHORT FOR THIS SHIT! 65 AND A WAKEUP!

Shell: Is everyone ok?

Katta: Well! My shingle is shitting Shell!

Gabby: My shingle is..? Nonono I think you mean shit on a shingle, Shell. Edited 5 times by Gabrielle

Shell: You're back, Gabby!

Katta What is shingle and why are peeps shitting on it? Anyway, I'm fucking angry Ja!

Edna: Ouch! My head! Where's that silly bastard?

Trini: WHICH ONE OF YOU MUTHAFUCKAS WAS COPPIN' ZEES' ON AMBUSH DUTY?! SUMBITCH!

Jobless: Did somebody order a silly bastard??????????????????????

Shine: Well would you look at that? I didn't spill a drop.

Barry: How are we going to get to Brighton now? How the hell are we going to get to Brighton now?! This isn't fair! I was ready this time! I even packed baby lotion!

Edna: You...ah...you still alive then Shell?

Trini: DON'T ANY OF Y'ALL MUTHAFUCKAS EVEN THINK 'BOUT TELLIN THE ELTEE THAT WAS MAH SHIFT!

Shell: Barely Edders!! What happened?! My seatbelt appears to be defective! It snapped almost immediately! It's a good job my fat tits cushioned my head from the seat in front! I knew poppin' out all those kids would have it's benefits!

Gabby: My seatbelt was cut too Shell! What the hell is going on?! Edited 7 times by Gabrielle

Katta: We had fucking seatbelts?!!

Shine: Ok...THAT WASN'T MY FUCKING FAULT! You lot were distracting me. Didn't you see the sign? Do Not Talk To The Driver. Well this is what happens when you ignore the sign and talk to the fucking driver.

Edna: Pssst! Jobless! You fucking twat! You were only supposed to sabotage Shell's fucking belt!

Jobless: In for a penny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Barry: Sod you all! I'm not having this! I'm going to fucking Brighton!! See you later! I'll walk the rest of the fucking way!

Trini: SHHHHHHH! I THINK I CAN HEAR GOOKS TALKIN'!

Shell: Oh Barry don't be silly! Come back! Come back!

Exit Barry

Trini: DON'T YOU WORRY BOUT A THANG ELTEE! I'LL GO AFTER HIM! YOU'RE LOOKIN' AT THE BEST GODDAM TRACKER IN THE NAM!

Gabby: Oh good lord! Edited 4 times by Gabrielle

Shell: Not you too Trini!! Wait! You mustn't go alone! Somebeody get his fucking pills!!

Exit Trini AH SAID DON'T WORRY BOUT A THANG ELTEE!! AH GOT THIS COVERED! THIS HERE IS JUST LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AND MAH PLATOON WAY BACK IN 68 AT THE SANG FANG LANG BANG TET DEFENSIVE!

Jobless: Bloody hell...I mean. BLOODY HELL. This guy really is nuttier than a bag of walnuts isn't he???????????????????????

Music starts (M Jackon - Beat It - Acoustic)

Trini: I REMEMBER BACK WHEN AH WAS SERVIN' IN THE 'NAM!
THE LESSONS THAT AH LEARNT AH WHAT MADE ME A MAN!
IF THEY AIN'T AMERICAN
WE DON'T CONSIDER THEM HUMAN
SO WE JUST SHOOT 'EM!
WE JUST SHOOT 'EM!

I AIN'T NO RACIST AND THERE'S NO DISCRIMINATION HERE
PLEASE LET ME KNOW AT ONCE IF I'M NOT BEING CLEAR
YOU'LL NEVER KEEP THE USA FROM
GLOBAL DOMINATION
'CAUSE WE JUST SHOOT 'EM!
WE JUST SHOOT 'EM!

JUST SHOOT EM! SHOOT 'EM!
SHOOT 'EM! SHOOT 'EM!
MAKE 'EM BEG FOR MERCY!
MAKE 'EM EAT LEAD!
AS LONG AS THEY'RE THE ENEMY!
JUST SHOOT 'EM TILL THEY'RE DEAD!
JUST SHOOT 'EM! JUST SHOOT EM!

WE LIKE TO USE THE RUNNING JOKE OF DEMOCRACY!
TO INVADE YOUR COUNTRY AND THEN STEAL ALL YOUR COMMODITIES!
WE NEVER WITHDRAW
OUR ONLY TACTIC IS SHOCK AND AWE
WE JUST SHOOT 'EM!
JUST SHOOT 'EM!

YOU HAVE TO SHOW 'EM THAT YOU'LL NEVER BACK DOWN!
SHOW 'EM WHAT IT MEANS TO BE AN AMERICAN!
WE PROMISE YOU FREEDOM
FROM THE BARRELS OF OUR GUNS
WE JUST SHOOT EM!
JUST SHOOT EM!

JUST SHOOT EM! SHOOT EM!
SHOOT EM! SHOOT EM!
LEAVE NO MAN ALIVE!
LEAVE NO HUT UNBURNED!
THEN COVER UP WITH LIES!
AND EXPRESS SOME FAKE CONCERN!
BUT JUST SHOOT EM!
JUST SHOOT EM!
JUST SHOOT EM!
JUST SHOOT EM!!

Exit Trini screaming maniacally

Gabby: Trini! Come back! Shit! Don't leave the door open!! Somebody close the door!! Edited 5 times by Gabrielle

Katta: WOOOOOOOOOOOOF!!

Exit Katta

Gabby: Dammit!! Shell! I can't let Katta run off by herself! I've got to go with her!!

Exit Gabby

Edna: Well. Well well well. Looks like it's only you Shell, Jobless, and me left. This could...ah...be .interesting.

Shine: What about me?!!

Shell: Somebody has to wait for the AA now Shine.

Shine: I told you I was fucking sober now! Who called the fucking AA?! It was only one fucking pint!

Edna: Not that AA you idiot!

Shell: Well I suppose we may as well go and explore Brighton a little..

Exit Edna, Jobless and Shell

Shine: Bastards. Well screw you. I don't need you. I don't need ANY of you!

Music starts (The Animals - House of the Rising Sun - Acoustic)

There is
a place
in forumland
Where the dogs
of Russia
lie,
And when
I see
What it now
has become
Oh Lord,
I want
to cry

I should never
have given
the admin password
to my second
in
command
Who knew
A bigger
bastard than me
existed
in forumland?

I'll keep kidding myself
that I dont
care
I'm better
off
alone
I don't
need you
Nor nobody else
I'm better off
On
my own

------ organ solo ------

Oh mother
tell
your children
Stay off
the net
tonight
I'll be damned
If I give up
Dogs so easily
I ain't givin' in
without
a fight

My plan
is set
And all worked
out
My decision
has
been done
I'm gonna
get drunk
and really
depressed
and then troll Dogs
as an
anoymous
guest

Well, there is
a place
in forumland
where the Dogs of Russia lie
And tonight
I'm taking back
what's rightfully
mine
Get ready
for the return
of SHINE!

Fade to black

1st Interlude





















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