The Jezza Chronicles - I hate that El!

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The Jezza Chronicles - I hate that El!

Post  El Guapo on Thu Jun 10, 2010 5:23 am

Steve: What a pillock!! Disgusting slime!

Gail: Steve! What's happened?

Steve: I can't believe the nerve of this guy! Idiot!

Jack: What's up amigo?

Steve: After everything I've done! After everything I've given him! Doesn't he realise I drive a fucking Porsche?!

Jack: Calm down No.2! What are you going on about?!

Steve: I'm talking about that pillock El Guapo and his off the peg Angels and Demons forum!!

Jack: What about it? What's that fukkin bastard tree stump fukwit done? Do you want me to mobilise the Praetorians for combat?

Gail: Oh good idea Jack! We have Praetorians from all walks of life!

Steve: What's he done? WHAT'S EL PILLOCK DONE?! He's only gone and ACCUSED ME OF BEING A TERRORIST!

Gail: OMG! OMG! But...but...how COULD he? You're a Christian!

Steve: That's right I'm a Christian! I'm a peace loving Christian! All I have ever wanted is to see every Muslim die painfully and slowly so peace loving Christians everywhere like me (who incidentally also do lots of work for charity but don't like to boast) can live their peaceful lives in peace! What an absolute pillock! BRB!!!

The General: Hello. As you can see I am new to this site. I am in no way shape or form affiliated to Steve in any way. In my totally unbiased opinion I too think that El Guapo IS A PILLOCK!

Adam3: Hello. As you can see I am new to this site. I am in no way shape or form affiliated to Steve in any way. In my totally unbiased opinion I too think that El Guapo IS A PILLOCK!

Steve: Back! Had to...er...pop away for a second! Thanks for the support General and Adam3!

Gail: It's ok Steve! Jack has just finished Arcadia 2.4! What can we do to El with it Jack? Wipe his hard drive? Send him a 10,000 post email? Maybe clog his system up with spam?

Jack: Yes well all that WILL be possible in time. I'm..ah..still fine tuning a few attack features...

Steve: So what CAN we do to El with Arcadia 2.4?!

Jack:...Um...you could challenge him to a game of chess?

Steve: A game of chess?! A GAME OF FUCKING CHESS?!!!

Jack: Now steady on No.2. Lets not forget who you're talking to here amigo...I'll have you know I'm the world's best hacker and I won't take any of your crap sonny boy! Don't make me re-program your toaster to burn your breakfast again...

Steve: There's only one thing to do to that pillock!

Gail: What's that?

Steve: I'm going to name that pillock as my WANKER OF THE WEEK! HA! Named and shamed pal! How do you like those apples eh?!

Jack: Good show Steve! Y'know I've been checking IP's again late at night to help my insomnia. Do you realise we're getting hits from places like China, Mongolia and Timbuktoo? People all over the world are gonna know what El did. All I need to do is try to figure out some kind of translation widget so the dumb fuckwit tree stump bastards in China, Mongolia and Timbuktoo can read the fukkin thing..

Gail: It's not enough! We need to teach that El Pillock a lesson Jack!

Jack: Well...I suppose I could do one of my ominous threats?

Steve: YES! That'll frighten the pillock!

Jack: Ok. Be a pleasure matey. (clears throat) Right-o. Um..here goes..El, Praetorians are watching you. I made a vow to never again use malicious software. Today I break that solemn oath amigo. There you go Steve. How was that?

Gail: Well I thought that was brilliant Jack. If El isn't quaking in his boots now he's clearly mad!

Steve: Thanks guys. I knew I could count on you two! I will not allow Free Speech to be abused by that pillock in this way!

Jack: Too right amigo. We only allow free speech within our parameters. Anything else is bang out of order IMHO.

Fade to black...

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Re: The Jezza Chronicles - I hate that El!

Post  Dame Edna on Thu Jun 10, 2010 6:22 am


El, you are one very funny guy! I'm in fits here.. lol!
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Re: The Jezza Chronicles - I hate that El!

Post  El Guapo on Thu Jun 10, 2010 6:48 am

If I can make somebody smile it's been a good day Very Happy

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Re: The Jezza Chronicles - I hate that El!

Post  dolly on Thu Jun 10, 2010 9:51 am

lol!
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Re: The Jezza Chronicles - I hate that El!

Post  EarthsAngel on Thu Nov 25, 2010 2:53 am

hahaha, just read it again and I'm cracking up! Brilliant, nice way to start the day...........great laugh El.

Has Jezzas gone under? Maybe Steve has driven off into the wild blue yonder in his Porsche?

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Re: The Jezza Chronicles - I hate that El!

Post  El Guapo on Thu Nov 25, 2010 7:40 am

Seems as though Steve has finally given up doesn't it? lol

The Chronicles were good fun. Hopefully I'll get some time over this weekend to do some more on the annual Xmas play Wink

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Re: The Jezza Chronicles - I hate that El!

Post  Guest on Thu Nov 25, 2010 9:26 am

El Guapo wrote:Seems as though Steve has finally given up doesn't it? lol

The Chronicles were good fun. Hopefully I'll get some time over this weekend to do some more on the annual Xmas play Wink

bounce bounce bounce Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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