The funny inbox

There's always SOMEONE trying to spoil a photo............

Whether you own a dog or not, you must appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog. Read the sales pitch!






Dog For Sale
Free to good home. Excellent guard dog.

Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves,murderers, or molesters left in the neighbourhood for him to eat.

Most of them knew him as 'Holy Shit!'

DO you fart in bed?

IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FOR LAUGHING SO HARD,
LET ME KNOW AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU.



THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN
HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS.
THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S
HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.

EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK.



HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL.
SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.



THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE CHRISTMAS DAY MORNING, AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND
ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS, NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS, AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.

SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS
WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS..

SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS
USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM.

THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD.

ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE.

SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER. HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.' 'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'.

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS WIFE.

'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.

BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, WITH SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN

READ FIRST THEN LOOK AT PICTURE ATTACHED!

THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN WITH UNDERGROUND CAMERAS,

OF 2 AFRICAN MINERS TRAPPED, WAITING TO BE RESCUED.

(REALLY HEARTWRENCHING STUFF)

PLEASE DO NOT LOOK AT PHOTO IF YOU ARE A SENSITIVE VIEWER!!

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Fantastic CB, cheered me up no end hun xxx Keep em coming.. :flower:

love the miners one hahahha.............. x

they had me crying with laughter............x

LOL LMAO the nipples one

How do you tell if your skirt is too short?

Britain Today

I don't normally send these messages but this is important. Please help ban fox hunting. This inhumane practice is abhorrent to all right thinking individuals.

We MUST stop this terrible behaviour.



Protect the environment. PLEASE!

Scroll down but it is disturbing...........!!

GOTTA PEE

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out.
Both were very faithful and loving wives, however
they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi
Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to
pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought
she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive
pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.

She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave
that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded

to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they

proceeded to go home.


The next day one of the women's husband was concerned

that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed
hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said:

'These girl nights have got to stop!
I'm starting to suspect the worst...

my wife came home with no panties!!'

'That's nothing' said the other husband,
'Mine came back with a card stuck to her bottom that said.....

'From all of us at the Fire Station.
We'll never forget you.''

An 85-year-old man was requested by his
doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical
exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take
this jar home and bring back a semen sample
tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared
at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the
previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man
explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing.

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with
her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door
and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between
her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked!'You asked your neighbor?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'

Wayne Bridge sent his missus a replica of his cock made from Cadburys chocolate,
She said that she prefers Terrys