chelseaz nutter corner

Page 2 of 2 Previous  1, 2

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  chelseaz on Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:52 am

avatar
chelseaz
Admin
Admin

Posts : 473
Join date : 2010-05-28
Age : 86
Location : bristol

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  El Guapo on Thu Nov 25, 2010 8:00 am

Pay attention to the dog in the background lol!


_________________
If Carlsberg made men...

avatar
El Guapo
Admin
Admin

Posts : 2176
Join date : 2010-01-25
Age : 40
Location : Seated in front of PC

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  chelseaz on Thu Nov 25, 2010 9:14 am

at the dog.he got da riddum...however i think the young lady is a bit to young to be dancing that provocativly !!!!!
avatar
chelseaz
Admin
Admin

Posts : 473
Join date : 2010-05-28
Age : 86
Location : bristol

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  EarthsAngel on Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:33 am

LOL at the dog! I agree Chelz, she is very provocative for such a young girl. Kids watch far too much grown up TV and try to emulate the big girls.

_________________
Put a Bible in the wind and the rain and it will perish; my Bible IS the wind and the rain

avatar
EarthsAngel
Admin
Admin

Posts : 1685
Join date : 2010-01-25
Location : District 9

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  EarthsAngel on Tue Dec 21, 2010 10:24 am

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.'
The nun agreed.
A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?'
The nun replied, 'He went that way.'

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said,
'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Afghanistan .'
The nun said, 'I understand completely.'

The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'
The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Afghanistan either.'

_________________
Put a Bible in the wind and the rain and it will perish; my Bible IS the wind and the rain

avatar
EarthsAngel
Admin
Admin

Posts : 1685
Join date : 2010-01-25
Location : District 9

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  EarthsAngel on Tue Dec 21, 2010 10:26 am


_________________
Put a Bible in the wind and the rain and it will perish; my Bible IS the wind and the rain

avatar
EarthsAngel
Admin
Admin

Posts : 1685
Join date : 2010-01-25
Location : District 9

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  EarthsAngel on Tue Dec 21, 2010 10:28 am


_________________
Put a Bible in the wind and the rain and it will perish; my Bible IS the wind and the rain

avatar
EarthsAngel
Admin
Admin

Posts : 1685
Join date : 2010-01-25
Location : District 9

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  EarthsAngel on Thu Feb 10, 2011 2:39 am

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the Bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.' And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.' 'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who Says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the hallway, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.


His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mum horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mum..

'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mum, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket...

Suddenly the father shouted....'I'll do the f****** dishes!!!”



_________________
Put a Bible in the wind and the rain and it will perish; my Bible IS the wind and the rain

avatar
EarthsAngel
Admin
Admin

Posts : 1685
Join date : 2010-01-25
Location : District 9

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  EarthsAngel on Sat Feb 19, 2011 3:00 am




Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said , "So y'all want to be cops , huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up , opened a file drawer , and pulled out a folder.
Sitting back down , he opened it , pulled out a picture , and said , "To be a detective , you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth."

So saying , he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew
it after about two seconds. "Now , " he said , "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said , "Yes , I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said , "Of course he has only one eye in
this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde , stuck the photo in her
face for two seconds , pulled it back , and said , "What about you? Notice
anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed , "Didn't you hear
what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said ,
"This is probably a waste of time , but...." He flashed the photo in her
face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it , saying , "All right , did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said , "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses." The detective frowned , took another look at the picture , and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said , "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said , "Well , Hellooooooooooooo!
With only one eye and one ear , he certainly can't wear glasses."



_________________
Put a Bible in the wind and the rain and it will perish; my Bible IS the wind and the rain

avatar
EarthsAngel
Admin
Admin

Posts : 1685
Join date : 2010-01-25
Location : District 9

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  dolly on Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:18 am


"A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling-film for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts'."

"The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it."

"Two blokes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it."

"My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in."

"A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted,'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'."

"Police arrested two kids yesterday.
One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off."

"A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in
several places'
The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore'."

"Velcro. What a rip-off!"

"I don't make jokes about the spanish.. No way Jose!"

"I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' He said 'To camp?', I said [butchly] 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' He said 'Camper?' I said [campily] 'Make your mind up.'"

"Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds
later they come alight again, well the other day there was a fire at the
factory that makes them. The fire brigade have tried everything."

"So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Weggie Kray."

"But I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition
and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one jar."

"When I was at school people used to throw gold bars at me. I was the victim of bullion."

"So I went to the doctor and he said, 'You've got hypochondria.' I said, 'Not that as well!'"

"I used to live in a teapot. I know what you're thinking 'Pour You'"

"Advent Calenders, Their days are numbered."

"I was playing the piano in a bar and this elephant walked in and started crying his heart out. I said 'Do you recognise the tune?' He said 'No, I recognise the ivory'."

"I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace!"

"I phoned the Football League and said I was interested in running a Sheffield based football team. They said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't manage Wednesday.'"
avatar
dolly

Posts : 548
Join date : 2010-01-26
Location : Dancin in her sparkly shoes! Boop de be doop yeh!

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  EarthsAngel on Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:57 am

Dolly, that cheered me up, weather is crappy today, cold and dull......thank you xxxx

_________________
Put a Bible in the wind and the rain and it will perish; my Bible IS the wind and the rain

avatar
EarthsAngel
Admin
Admin

Posts : 1685
Join date : 2010-01-25
Location : District 9

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  EarthsAngel on Thu May 19, 2011 9:13 am

Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, so try this one:


An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and an African went to a night club.


The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai"


_________________
Put a Bible in the wind and the rain and it will perish; my Bible IS the wind and the rain

avatar
EarthsAngel
Admin
Admin

Posts : 1685
Join date : 2010-01-25
Location : District 9

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  EarthsAngel on Thu May 19, 2011 9:16 am

Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, so try this one:


An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and an African went to a night club.


The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai"


_________________
Put a Bible in the wind and the rain and it will perish; my Bible IS the wind and the rain

avatar
EarthsAngel
Admin
Admin

Posts : 1685
Join date : 2010-01-25
Location : District 9

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  dolly on Fri May 20, 2011 3:12 am

hahaha ..hellooooo earths xx

Photons have Mass?? I didn't even know they were Catholic !!

Atheism is a non-profit organisation !!

2 rights do not make a wrong..they make an airplane ..

Wear short sleeved shirts..support your right to bare arms.

Clones are people two.

Corderoy pillows..they're making headlines !

A hangover is the wrath of grapes !

Of a pig loses it's voice, is it disgruntled ?







What a Face What a Face What a Face
avatar
dolly

Posts : 548
Join date : 2010-01-26
Location : Dancin in her sparkly shoes! Boop de be doop yeh!

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  Jerico on Fri May 20, 2011 5:14 pm

Laughing

Jerico

Posts : 18
Join date : 2011-03-25

Back to top Go down

Re: chelseaz nutter corner

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 2 of 2 Previous  1, 2

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum