BITS AND BOBS..Funny, serious, mad, bad, inane, insane...anything goes here.

Loads of great pics there Nel ... melons are brilliant and the animals awww

I'm starting to feel autumny..... halloween soon.... well soonish !! hehehe

[img][/img]

wrong pic

[img][/img]

masca tenerife , very tranquil and beautiful

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?




Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.




I just couldn't help but sending this along. Too funny.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No crap, really? Ya think?



----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!



-----------------------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!



---------------------------------------------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!



------------------------------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

----------------------------------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!



----------------------------------------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!



-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!



----------------------------------------------------------------
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!



------------------------------------------------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?



----------------------------------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!



----------------------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

-----------------------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans! < /SPAN>

---------------- ---------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?



****************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!



***************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors & nbsp;
Boy, are they tall!



*******************************************
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?
***************************************************


Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!

Stunning Pics!! I love them all.

Don't ever park illegally in the UK!!!

The Proper 'Hugging' of a Baby

Instructions for properly hugging a baby:

1. First, uh, find a baby



2. Second, be sure that the object you found was

Indeed a baby by employing classic sniffing techniques.



3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the

Hugging process.



4. The 'paw slide'

Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.




5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute
The difficult and patented 'hug, smile, and lean' so as to

Achieve the best photo quality.

If you don't pass this along, a dog
will pee on your computer!

ESSEX HURRICANE APPEAL

A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit Essex in the early hours of Tuesday with its epicentre in Basildon . Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".

The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.

Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon .. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning." Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.

Food parcels may be harder to come by but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals
Tins of baked beans
Ice cream
Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9
£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.

"Where are you bleeding from?" they asked,
"Romford" said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?"

Please don't forward this to anyone living in Essex - oh, sod it, they won't be able to read it, anyway.

I wonder if the Queen has seen this pic. I'm sure the guy in the photo must be mortified lol. At least we all know what a Scotsman wear under his kilt.

lol angel...i can't stop laughing..."are we sitting comfortably"

LOL Chelz, I laughed so much when I saw it. I remember seeing a pic a while back, there were soldiers on some sort of parade, the soldiers kilt was caught in a gust of wind, showing a rather cute little bum!

Good lesson for life.



TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING


THROUGH THE DESERT .


DURING SOME POINT OF THE


JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN


ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND


SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE


IN THE FACE





THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED


WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT


SAYING ANYTHING,


WROTE IN THE SAND ,





"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND


SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE . "





THEY KEPT ON WALKING,


UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,


WHERE THEY DECIDED


TO TAKE A BATH





THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN


SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE


MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,


BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.





AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM


THE NEAR DROWNING,


HE WROTE ON A STONE:





'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND


SAVED MY LIFE'





THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED


AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND


ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU,


YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,


YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'





THE FRIEND REPLIED


'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US


WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN


IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF


FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.





BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES


SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,


WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE


WHERE NO WIND


CAN EVER ERASE IT'





LEARN TO WRITE


YOUR HURTS IN


THE SAND AND TO


CARVE YOUR


BENEFITS IN STONE.





THEY SAY IT

TAKES A


MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL


PERSON,





AN HOUR TO


APPRECIATE THEM,





A DAY


TO LOVE THEM,





BUT THEN ,





AN ENTIRE LIFE


TO FORGET THEM.





SEND THIS TO


THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER


FORGET.





I JUST DID.





IF YOU DON'T


SEND IT TO ANYONE,


IT MEANS YOU'RE IN A


HURRY AND THAT YOU'VE


FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS.





TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!





DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS


YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE


WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!

Dublin Tram Crash Wednesday, 24 February, 2010, at 9:14

This is the collision between a Dublin Bus and a Dublin Tram




Now have a look at the ad on the side of the bus that the Tram went into.




Priceless!!