El's Pick of the Day's Stories

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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  chelseaz on Thu Oct 28, 2010 9:41 am

can we keep one planet as ...new australia...and send all the sub spiecies on this planet up....no need to send support supplies....i must admit i love the nasa site,there is always something new and amazing going on.




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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  EarthsAngel on Thu Oct 28, 2010 9:56 am

Oh great! They have screwed up this planet, now they want to screw up another one. I hope the Martians blow them right off Mars!!

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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  chelseaz on Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:41 pm

Angel i'm talking somewhere out in the system.....like chavsville island where tney can breed themselves to non existance...with the somalian ...poor women who have no choice.thank god we are alien bred. lol!
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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  El Guapo on Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:31 am

S'not my fault for groping the lady Guv! I'm a sexsomniac!

Ever tried to get a little too friendly with a lady? Well if your affections are spurned you could always try the excuse that window fitter Darren Greenwood used.

Greenwood, 33, walked free from Chelmsford Crown Court, Essex, after his bizarre defence of being a sexsomniac won the backing of medical experts.

Experts told the court during the four-day trial that Greenwood was “a good example of sexsomnia” because he had “no knowledge or voluntary control of his actions”. Sound famaliar lads? lol

He had pleaded not guilty to assault by penetration and sexual assault on a 21-year-old woman who had agreed to him getting into bed with her.

The incident took place at a house in Loughton, Essex, where Greenwood was living. The woman was one of a group who arrived there after a night out.

Prosecutor Richard Potts said that at the time of the alleged incident she was asleep and could not have consented. He told jurors that Greenwood had allowed her to sleep in his bed and she had said it was okay for him to get into bed with her.

“It’s likely to be rare and under-reported because of the embarrassment. It mostly occurs between partners and involves sex. It usually occurs with a person in bed,” Sexsomnia expert Professor Matthew Walker told the jury.

Quizzed in court Mr Greenwood said: “The only reasonable scenario is something occurred in my sleep because something happened.”

Previously he had suffered in the past from “parasomnia” which involved sitting up in bed and punching a wall.

But he added: “I have never before or since had an incident of sexsomnia.”

It took the jury less than two hours to clear him.


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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  El Guapo on Tue Nov 02, 2010 7:51 am

BEWARE OF.....CAT?

MAIL bosses won't let staff use a family's letterbox - because a cat clawed a postie's finger.

Pet Lana went for Andrew Goater's hand as he pushed letters through the door.

Andrew, 53, said the cut bled for two hours and he went to hospital for a tetanus jab.

Now owner Carol White has been told her postal service will stop unless 18-month-old Lana is kept away from the door in Portsmouth, Hants.

Instead of using the letterbox, which is 6ins off the ground, posties must knock to hand over mail.

Mum-of-two Carol, 26, said: "It's a bit much."

Andrew said: "You hear about postmen attacked by the dog but this cat came out of nowhere."

Royal Mail said it had to ensure staff were safe.



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Enemies of Britain

Post  EarthsAngel on Thu Nov 04, 2010 8:13 am

By MIKE SULLIVAN, VIRGINIA WHEELER and VINCE SOODIN

Published: Today
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FURY erupted last night after police allowed Islamic bigots' hate-filled demo at the life sentence on MP murder-bid student Roshonara Choudhry.

They yelled "Curse the judge" from the public gallery of the Old Bailey after Roshonara Choudhry, 21, was sentenced.

The twisted trio then hurled abuse at a terrified Muslim female juror wearing a headscarf, screaming: "Shame on you, sister."

Rant ... fanatic spouts poisonous message
Rant ... fanatic spouts poisonous message

Security men bundled the ranting bigots from Court Seven after the disgraceful scenes.

But the three were allowed to continue their poison rants in the street - yelling "British soldiers must die."

Do you know the Old Bailey fanatics? If so call the newsdesk on 0207 782 4104.
Email
exclusive@the-sun.co.uk
In a vile insult to the former Labour minister stabbed by burka-clad Choudhry, they screamed: "Death to Timms."

They also wielded placards saying, "Iraq, graveyard for the British troops", "Islam will dominate the world" and "Stephen Timms go to hell".

There was outrage last night that the unidentified fanatics got away unpunished for their display of hatred for Britain.

Hatred ... protester at court
Hatred ... protester at court

Trial judge Mr Justice Cooke did NOT use his powers to order their arrest for contempt of court.

And police LET the men walk away after their protest outside the court. Tory MP Patrick Mercer - a former soldier who served in Northern Ireland - said last night: "The judge needed to get a grip.

"If there is evidence of a juror being intimidated, the judge should use his powers not just to clear the court but to prosecute. It seems like an open-and-shut case of contempt of court." Former Scotland Yard commander John O'Connor said the men should have been arrested for incitement to kill or other offences.

He said: "They should not have been allowed to get away with this because it means others will turn up at the courts to try to bring justice into disrepute. These people have abused the privileges of freedom of speech which we enjoy in this country - and which they would never get in other parts of the world.



"Trying to appease a mob like this is outrageous."

Choudhry - brainwashed by the internet sermons of ink bomb plot mastermind Anwar al-Awlaki - will only be considered for release after 15 years.

She refused to appear in court. But the judge told her by video link to Bronzefield women's prison in Ashford, Middlesex, that she had "committed evil acts, coolly and deliberately".

Choudhry targeted Mr Timms, 54, her MP in East Ham, East London, after drawing up a hit list of politicians who voted in favour of the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

British-born Choudhry, from a Bengali family, made an appointment to see him at his constituency surgery in a community centre in Beckton, East London, on May 14.

She stabbed him twice in the stomach. Choudhry had bought two knives but used the smaller one.



Mr Timms would probably have died if she had used the larger blade but he has made a full recovery.

The judge told Choudhry: "You intended to kill in the political cause and to strike at those in government by doing so. You are an intelligent young lady who has absorbed immoral ideas and wrong patterns of thinking and attitudes.

"In my judgment there is a real risk that if released you might take similar action against any MP or other person perceived by you to be in a position of power or influence for the sake of the cause you espouse."

The judge added: "You said you wanted to die because you wanted to be a martyr.

"You said it was Islamic teaching and to fight and die for your religion is the highest honour."

Choudhry was found guilty of attempted murder and possessing offensive weapons.

A City of London Police spokesman said of the Old Bailey incident last night: "We monitored the situation outside the court but no complaints were made to us."
#


Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3211242/Old-Bailey-Islamic-fanatics-are-enemies-of-Britain.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=News#ixzz14K2AEect


The useless bloody Cops would have acted if it had been the EDL protesting! They are disgrace. I hope they catch these evil sick bastards and string them up. How dare they behave like that in the UK? They would be beaten to death or beheaded in their own countries.


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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  chelseaz on Thu Nov 04, 2010 2:59 pm

when is this country going to wake up!


Last edited by chelseaz on Fri Nov 05, 2010 4:32 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : to abusive lol)
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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  El Guapo on Sat Nov 06, 2010 10:01 am

Easy come easy go!

A GENEROUS couple have given away £7million they won on the lottery.

Pensioners Violet and Allen Large said the jackpot win earlier this year was a "big headache".

So they decided to help out family, friends and other good causes with cash gifts.

Their list of beneficiaries was more than two pages long and included organisations that fight cancer, Alzheimer's and diabetes. They also gave cash to their local fire department, churches, cemeteries, the Red Cross and the Salvation Army.

Violet, 78, who last week finished chemotherapy for cancer, has two brothers and a sister. She said giving the cash away "made us feel good". She added: "There's so much good being done with that money. We're the lucky ones. I have no complaints.

"What you've never had, you never miss."

Former welder Allen, 75, has three brothers plus two daughters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

He said: "We were pretty well set - not millionaires, but comfortable. That money that we won was nothing. We have each other."

The pair, of Lower Truro, Nova Scotia, have been married for 36 years and won the Canadian lottery in July.

At the time Violet was battling cancer and they feared being taken advantage of by "crooked people".

But they have kept just £140,000 of the winnings as emergency funds.

My hat goes off to this couple!


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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  chelseaz on Sat Nov 06, 2010 1:19 pm

Dosent that just warm your heart.....i get fed up of stupid people winning the lottery and either...

totally waste it and make a big ado about it

panic have no imagination and say ...i just want my old job back and wish id never won it

or they quietly disappear and live their lives

consider what it will do for you and how it will affect your life before you sheepishly buy a ticket every week....the first two are a waste of space the third is quiet and are smart enough to go and do.i would have no problem whatsoever....but people like me dont win it do we......do we.....god bless em....lol
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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  El Guapo on Sun Nov 07, 2010 11:27 am

Nice story isn't it? I'd like to think I'd do the same but who are we kidding? lol Maybe when you're that age money isn't as important? Lets face it, it's pointless buying that Ferrari if you're too old to see well enough to drive it lol



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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  El Guapo on Tue Nov 09, 2010 11:28 am

Beware The Hamster!

FIRST there was Kung Fu Panda - now here's Kung Fu HAMSTER!

This incredible footage shows the tiny ninja ATTACKING two Russian youths as they walk through a cornfield.

And with a series of hisses, spins and leaps, the fearless hamster keeps the pair at bay - and even draws blood with one attack.

The lads finally escaped after trapping the rowdy rodent in a baseball cap and then carefully putting it back into the cornfield.

One wildlife expert said: "It might have been a mother protecting her young ones from what she saw as a threat."




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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  chelseaz on Thu Nov 11, 2010 9:39 am

lol psycho hamsters...what next?
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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  dolly on Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:38 am

hahaha brilliant!! What a Face
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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  EarthsAngel on Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:01 am

Hell, I didn't know hamsters could be so vicious! Maybe it was trying to protect its young, poor little thing.

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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  El Guapo on Mon Nov 15, 2010 7:43 am

"There goes the neighbourhood Dear..."

SOCCER star Wes Brown has knocked £500,000 off the price of his house — because he thinks no one wants to live next to Wayne Rooney.

England defender Brown, 31, wanted £4.5million for the blinged-up home neighbouring Man United team-mate Wayne's in Prestbury, Cheshire.

Six months later he is demanding a mere £3,950,000.

A source said: "Wayne attracts a lot of attention and the millionaires attracted to the area like to be more discreet."

The Prestbury property, also next door to Aston Villa midfielder Stephen Ireland, has been kitted out in flashy designs from top to bottom.

House hunters looking to buy it will require quirky tastes.

The Old Trafford star has installed a glass ceiling in his basement swimming pool, which gives him a cheeky up-skirt view of his wife Leanne while she's in the kitchen.

Wes is trying to sell the house because he is having a new home built on a 180-acre farm in nearby Mobberley.


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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  DarkLord on Mon Nov 15, 2010 8:26 am

I'll have it!!!!!!

Wonder if the bank will loan me £3.95Million?? scratch
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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  chelseaz on Tue Nov 16, 2010 1:10 am

amongst my worst nightmares...living next door to chavey chops...good luck on the sale wes....you'll need it.
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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  El Guapo on Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:27 am

The New Orgasmatron 3000!

THEIR ultimate partner would be flexible, obedient... and made of rubber.

In the secretive world of robot fetishists, the ideal woman - or man - has a fixed stare, movable limbs and definitely won't ever dump you.

Now, the world's first fully functioning sex robots could be heading to the UK - recalling scenes in the famous movie The Stepford Wives, where the women are replaced by "perfect" robots.

Inventors in the US say there is an increasing demand from Brits for these mechanical bed partners, including interest from a woman wanting one that looked like TV star Graham Norton.

Scott Maclean, a US construction worker who has spent more than £300,000 on his robot prototypes since 2004, says he has been contacted by British customers.

Scott, 47, from West Virginia, says: "We've had a few people from the UK contact us, including a gentleman who claimed he was a duke. We've got a few people from Europe, Russia, Korea, all over.

"I've had people ask me to create a robot that looks like Angelina Jolie, Pamela Anderson and Michael Jackson. But I can't model them on people in the public eye without the star's permission.

"A couple of weeks ago I was in a discussion with a lady to build one that looked like Graham Norton. She sounded serious."

Scott's robots - Harry Harddrive and Suzie Software, which do not talk and are not yet on sale - start at around £1,850.

Douglas Hines, 48, has developed "fem-bot" Roxxxy.

She is 5ft 6in, weighs 60lb, is made of hypoallergenic silicone and has human hair.

Roxxxy is able to speak, has different mood settings and is even capable of simulating an orgasm.

And, unlike a real girlfriend, if you get bored with one woman, you can change her into another, pre-programmed personality.

There's Frigid Farrah, Wild Wendy, S&M Susan, Young Yoko and Mature Martha, among others.

Douglas, who sells his creations for around £4,000, says: "We have a relationship with a London adult distributor. We're hoping they will be shipping to Europe by the end of the year."

Robot fetishists share their fantasies on niche internet forums, and usually keep their longings secret from family and friends.

They include people such as Delosian, 40, an unattached video games tester from Phoenix, Arizona, who imagines his perfect robot companion would be 5ft 5in, with an "hourglass figure" and nice hair and eyes.

He turned to robot fantasies after a real-life girlfriend broke his heart.

He says: "One of the things that is more preferable to having a robot companion is that robots don't break your heart.

"They don't leave, they don't have emotional issues, they don't leave because you don't have enough money or don't drive the right car."

Enthusiasts including Delosian can be seen on Discovery's fascinating documentary My Sex Robot at 10pm tonight on DMAX.

Inventor Douglas, from New Jersey, who hopes to bring out his male robot Rocky by Christmas, says: "Women have always had a physical assistant in the bedside drawer, so what's wrong in having something else in helping their experiences? Men really haven't had anything to assist them."

Douglas, who believes people could form intense relationships with their robot companions, adds: "Can people fall in love with these robots? Yes they can.

"Our testers started calling the robots 'he' or 'she' and establishing a relationship, calling it by a name.

"You can call it anything you want - it's just a case of uploading the information.

"Love is a bonding experience where you have shared viewpoints and where you feel for each other. We try to get the robots as close as possible to that.



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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  El Guapo on Thu Dec 02, 2010 8:24 am

Egg Fried Mice

THIS filthy Chinese takeaway should have been SQUEAKY clean but health inspectors found LIVE mice in its noodles.

The rodents were spotted when food hygiene inspectors made a routine visit and heard a rustling sound coming from a cardboard box.

Officials also discovered dead mice rotting under freezers and mouse droppings on work surfaces.

The horror catalogue of health breaches — including cooked food stored in raw food containers — forced the authorities to close down the Dragon Palace in Westcliff-on-Sea, Essex.

Bosses at the eatery could face criminal proceedings over the findings.

Southend Magistrates' Court granted an emergency hygiene notice which means the takeaway must remain shut until it has cleaned up its act.

Sheira Fox, Southend Council's senior environmental health inspector, told the court: "I pulled out one of the freezers and underneath it was full of mouse droppings, and on the left there was a dead mouse.

"It was in the final stages of decomposition."

Another dead mouse was discovered in the takeaway's washing-up room.

And when Ms Fox and a colleague heard rustling they discovered two live mice inside a box of noodles.

She said: "The premises were in a filthy condition, with mouse droppings everywhere.

"The probability of mouse droppings in food was quite clearly there."

The council had been working to try to improve standards at the business, owned by Ken Zhang and Hao Chen, for a year — including staff training in Mandarin.

Ms Fox added: "We have really tried and it's quite disappointing for me, having spent an inordinate amount of council time and money, to find this going on."


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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  chelseaz on Sat Dec 04, 2010 5:24 am

EEEWWWWWW!!!!...Thanks for reminding me why i don't eat take aways el.....also i have now deciced what i want for xmas...A robotic action man...muscles....good looks...great performer...dosent nick my beer keeps his mouth zipped and does the housework.....any chance chaps ???????
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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  El Guapo on Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:09 pm

If Carlsberg Made Prime Ministers

talian PM Silvio Berlusconi has narrowly won a vote of confidence in the lower house of parliament by 314 to 311, prompting street protests.

In Rome, violent clashes have left 50 police officers and at least 40 protesters injured.

The marchers set fire to cars, threw stones and overturned bins in Italy's worst street violence in recent years.

Mr Berlusconi's critics say he is too deeply mired in scandal and corruption allegations to remain in office.

The Italian prime minister, 74, is halfway through a five-year term but his position has been weakened by a series of scandals, largely involving his relationships with women.





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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  El Guapo on Wed Dec 15, 2010 3:28 pm

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum...

Right. Today's story concerns yours truly! I was frickin' there!!

A POLICE officer had his throat slashed in a street knife attack that also left a PCSO with stab wounds - after a row over a bus ticket.

The horror knifing happened at 3.05pm today after they approached a man in the middle of Ealing, West London.

But as Christmas shoppers milled around the Ealing Broadway area they were both struck down.



They were rushed to hospital for urgent treatment and one person has been arrested.

It was reported the PCSO suffered stab wounds to his arms.

It is understood the suspected attacker was stopped and routine checks revealed he was wanted for recall to prison.

One source said that when it became clear he was about to be arrested, the man pulled out a knife and attacked the officers.

He said: "He has gone for the officers. The PCSO has been stabbed and the PC was stabbed in the head and suffered the worst of the injuries."

Members of the public said the uniformed officers suffered head injuries and a large number of police vehicles and ambulances blocked Ealing Broadway and an area of pavement is cordoned off with police tape.

Eyewitnesses said the officers, who were wearing stab-proof vests, were part of an operation checking bus tickets.

The PC was slashed in the neck, while the PCSO suffered non life-threatening injuries.



A Metropolitan Police spokesman said the PC and PCSO have been taken to hospital by ambulance.

The spokesman said the attack took place after a "police stop", which could mean the officers were trying to stop and search the man. The suspected attacker has been arrested.

A member of staff at a branch of Oxfam on New Broadway said the incident had attracted "the quickest police response I've ever seen".

The woman, who did not want to be named, said: "A customer came in and told us there had been an incident outside and within 30 seconds there were ambulances followed by police and a couple of policemen were running towards the scene."

Model Portia Freno said she witnessed the attack as she travelled to a photoshoot.

Writing on Twitter, she said: "I am disgusted. Two police officers just got stabbed in the head in Ealing. Not a nice thing to witness at all."

Another eyewitness Inam Mir said: "We saw the police officers routinely checking what happened.

"I heard a big ruckus then that was it then just saw the guys falling on the ground.

"The guys were just checking people getting on and off the buses, just routinely."

Mayor of London Boris Johnson said he was shocked by what had happened.

He added: "There is no place for this in London."

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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  El Guapo on Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:14 am

Official! Its the women's fault we are in recession!

The Sun reports today that latest figures show over 1 million women are currently on the dole. That's right. 1 million.

No wonder us blokes are finding it so hard to crawl out of this recession. It's the same old story isn't it? Whilst the men struggle in the labour camps to bring home enough to earn a stale crust of bread the female of the species is sitting at home watching Loose Women and looking for handouts!

Why are they even allowed to claim? I mean, women's suffrage was bad enough but now we're giving them free money too? That's just insanity. They're only going to spend it on lipstick and jaffa cakes. Maybe the odd chocolate hobnob too.

Women were just never meant to have anything do to with the financial side of life. Science has proven that time and again the sight of money makes women ovulate and they develop an insatiable urge to mate. You only have to see how many of these women claiming benefits are single mums to see the evidence of what happens when they see the green. A man would never allow himself to be a father if he had no money. Oh no no no. That's why all these dads bugger off after the pregnancy. For the good of society you see. To try and teach the women a valuable lesson. It's for their own good.

We can't allow this to continue. Enough is enough. Stop all benefits to all women until they find themsleves a good husband able to look after their money for them.


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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  dolly on Fri Dec 17, 2010 5:37 am

You looking for trouble El..LOOOL Laughing
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Re: El's Pick of the Day's Stories

Post  EarthsAngel on Fri Dec 17, 2010 7:43 am

You bloody MCP!!!!!!!!!!!! Who would want to marry that sad looking excuse for a human being anyway? Is she pregnant or just a fat slob, having a fag in the street........yuk!!! I hate these woman who have tattoo's all over their bodies, it looks really low and chavy.

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